Signature Review

As much as I love the curvy African American goddess from the signature looks line, I dislike this brunette doll. There’s something about her that, until recently, I couldn’t put my finger on. Then this popped up in one of my social media circles, and it all clicked into place:

CRINGE!

I don’t like this poor doll because she reminds me of the “Real Housewives” stars. Ouch. I never got into the show, mostly because I couldn’t get through the first episode. I’d like to give this doll an impartial review, I’m going to try…no promises.

Here’s Mattel’s description:

”Featuring on-trend fashions with photo-worthy details, Barbie Looks dolls inspire the stylist within. With brand-new face sculpts and posable articulated bodies, they're ready to style, pose, photograph and post. This Barbie Looks doll features a unique face sculpt and glossy brunette waves with golden highlights. Her premium fashion includes a white high-waisted skirt, cropped top with mesh paneling and t-strap sandals. Featuring fresh looks and style personality, Barbie Looks dolls make the perfect gift for stylists, fashion aficionados and Barbie collectors. Discover them all to style the whole crew.”

Here is the “whole crew”:

I won’t rehash the nightmare clusterfuck that has been the general rollout for these dolls. Which, by the way, they still haven’t resolved. It seems that Mattel, along with so many other companies, doesn’t quite grasp the buying power of even minimum wage in the EU. Good luck if you want to collect them all and you’re not in America. Good grief. I had one arrive last WEEK and we’re two months into 2022!

(Deep breath) But, let’s focus on the doll, shall we?

Firstly, I had a tough time removing this doll from her box, so her hair, from the back, looks terrible. Nothing a good brushing wouldn’t solve. Just be ready to give a little love to her tresses:

Ah, much better:

As you can see, her hair is dark brown with lighter brown and blonde chunky highlights. While this style isn’t for everyone, it works well on some dolls; if I remember right, Jacinda sports them as well.

Now that her hair is sorted, let’s talk about the shoes. I’m very disappointed:

These would be really cute shoes if the heel wasn’t literally melted into a weird curve. I’m not sure who is handling quality control at Mattel, but this is a let down. I keep saying that Mattel should do better, that they are better, but…considering how frequently this sort of thing happens, I’m starting to doubt my own claims.

Normally this is where I’d launch into the accessories, but this doll doesn’t have any. I’m not going to complain, I love the simplicity and that I don’t have a bunch of tiny plastic accessories to feel guilty about dropping, being unable to find, and knowing they got sucked into the vacuum cleaner.

Her outfit is basic (in a good way) and stylish. I love this paired-back ensemble, the opposite of the “extra” dolls and I’m really happy about it. I even went so far as to hide that screwy heel to help her put her best foot forward:

A white crop-top blouse with a simple mesh overlay covering her upper chest. This top has a simple velcro closure in the back. The skirt is similarly simplistic, with an asymmetric hemline and a slight slit to allow for range of motion.

I’ve been told this also fits the curvy fashionista line (pictures hopefully on the way soon), so it’s also versatile between body types. I will be trying this on Moira as well, just to be thorough.

Compared to the rainbow-coat wearing extra doll, this doll is barely pixelated, so good news for those who don’t want to have their dolls repainted. That, or my eyesight is just getting worse.

While I can’t deny that this doll is pretty, and I can see why she’s got mass appeal (she’s all over several Instagram feeds I follow), she’s not for me.

I can’t seem to shake that she’s a terrible person. This is kArEn, not to be confused with Karen, who is probably just a normal person who doesn’t deserve to have her name weaponized like it has been. No, let me be absolutely clear: this is an entirely different beast. kArEn, who wears “Life, laugh, love” tee shirts as she screams at the barista for asking her to repeat her order, and jokes about it being “wine-o-clock” and needing her “mommy juice” to mask her barely-functioning alcoholism.

I can clearly picture her sitting at a brunch table, demanding through slurred speech that she needs to speak to the manager. She’s angry because they dared cut her off during her bottomless mimosa brunch after she began dancing in a lewd way after “her song” came on the radio. She’s just fallen out of her chair and is now claiming someone pushed her…

Her friends, all equally horrible people, are all too drunk to be embarrassed as they live stream their nasty threats toward a blameless, extremely underpaid waiter, demanding their brunch be free or they’ll “ruin the business” with their one-star reviews. You know this isn’t the first time they’ve done this, and it probably won’t be the last. Shudder.

No, this doll is not for me.

Thanks for reading my ramble review. Be a Karen, not a kArEn.